High Tea at The Ritz London

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Having afternoon tea at The Ritz has been on my Life List ever since I accepted that it was the only way my modest footwear would meet their plush carpet. If you can’t afford a night at the fanciest hotel in London, then dressing up and faking your rank in society for two hours is the way to go. Plus, I just adore the way the British do afternoon tea – it’s an event. And I suspect my first word as a baby was “scone”, or at least it would have been if I was born in Mother England.

If you know me at all, you know that I’m not exactly ladylike. I wear pretty skirts and and even lipstick on the weekend (reow) to cover up the fact that I have the manners of a child. I am learning, slowly, thanks to my friends who tell me off for talking with my mouth full and remind me to wax my legs (TMI?).

Pair my disastrous self with my friend Cate who is 8 months pregnant and one of the most hilarious people I know, and you have yourself a party. You could say this was a highly anticipated day, since we booked it in May when she didn’t have a bun in the oven. As expected, we laughed our heads off the whole way through and definitely had more fun than anyone else there. Quote of the day was definitely…

“I’m just not cut out for this posh shit. Tehehe, I just said shit at the Ritz!”
“At least you didn’t say #^*@”

Though anyone in their right mind would find the idea of paying £42 for SANDWICHES preposterous, myself included, it was worth it. The tea, sandwiches, scones, dessert AND cake was the best I’ve ever had. We ate until Cate’s babeh punched her from the inside and screamed “please, stop woman!” Plus, you’re paying for the experience, right? To be treated like you’re royalty even though they know you aren’t (they can just tell, I think).

And in case anyone was doubting that I’m easy to please; my favourite sandwich was the egg and mayo. Keepin’ it real. Holla if you want to take me on a cheap date.

I took a ton of pictures because I was unashamedly gobsmacked by the splendour.

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The last one is of me in the bathrooms, because honestly, it would have been rude not to. LUSH I TELL YOU.

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