Creative Commons – ClickFlashPhotos / Nicki Varkevisser
Welcome to the second week of Sam and my blog series on getting through your twenties. Today we are discussing DATING (ohh hell), and last week we discussed careers. Share your stories in the comments!
Be sure to check out Sam’s dating post here.
I can tell you how to be in a longterm relationship, and what not to do in one. I can tell you how to be perpetually single. I can tell you how to awkwardly tell someone that they have the “X-factor” you’ve been looking for… Yep, it happened, but in my defense it was long before that damn TV show existed. However, I cannot tell you how to “date” because a) the obvious and simple answer is to go on dates, and b) my experience within that arena is very limited.
I’ve had two first dates. The first first was a dive into the deep end, and the start to a serious relationship that I probably wasn’t ready for. The second first was spent freaking out about what personal information I was allowed to omit and what I wasn’t, because I don’t really have an internal “too much information” filter. Whew, stressful stuff. After forcing a second date, we agreed there wasn’t enough chemistry to go out again.
Two first dates and two very different outcomes, both of which I learned a lot from. And there you have my adult “dating” history. Therefore today there will be nooooo advice giving, ’cause this sister is as clueless as the next. But instead I will bring to you four discussion points that I hope you will weigh in on!
I am petrified of love. What it does to me, where it will take me, who it will turn me into. For both reasonable and irrational reasons, I don’t have the best view of it. I do in an idealistic way and I know it’s a beautiful thing, but I feel like love and I don’t go well together. I’m working on that, because though my being single right now is amazing and purposeful, I don’t want to be single forever.
I was read this quote the other day by a friend and I adore it. It made me look at love, something that has perplexed me and confused me for years, in a completely new light. It is the best definition of romantic love I have ever heard:
“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.”
― Louis de Bernières, Captain Corelli’s Mandolin
This quote is both romantic and sweet, but incredibly realistic, which is why I love it. Now, I put out a call for your voice and input. What do you think of the above quote? Are you single, dating or married? I would really like to hear your love story in the comments section, whatever it is. Sorry to be a little cheesy but I like these stories because they give me hope. I love that every person’s story is different, and the same way no two people are the same, no two love stories are the same either. That is a very good thing and your love story, messy or simple, is to be cherished!
Will you tell me your love story? Or just share your experience, view, or definition of love?