That Gut Feeling

When something is meant to be, you can’t go against it.

You know the feeling, where your heart burns because it’s the truest thing you’ve ever known? Maybe it’s also the riskiest thing you’ve ever thought, and it has the potential to go terribly wrong. That’s even better. And you can’t help but go and do it, because you just know. It’s the greatest and worst feeling in the world!

But you must listen to your instincts, even if you don’t want to. Because really, deep down, you do want to. You want to know why you feel this strongly and if there’s anything in it. Well, as the old cliché goes, you won’t know until you try. But usually those really strong feelings are right. They don’t come around often but it’s a pretty big deal when they do. From my experience, anyway…

It was end of 2007 and I had just finished high school in my hometown of Auckland, New Zealand. My heart was set on moving to London after I had been talking with a family about becoming their nanny in the new year. But (there’s always a but), I had no money, no visa or passport and I was meant to be starting work in the UK in a mere 4 weeks time. Plus, moving across the world seemed a little drastic, right? In circumstance, everything was going against me. But God had spoken and I listened, because I knew in my Spirit it was the right thing. In my eyes I had no other choice.

Everyone doubted and questioned that I had heard right, including my supportive mum who had always trusted me in the past. But He had said I would get the British passport that I was barely liable for, and I knew that I would. I just knew. Partly because God is faithful to His promises, and because there was a fire in my gut that couldn’t be extinguished. I simply had to go.

Then my future employer apologetically asked me if we could move my starting date back a few months, as things had changed for them in London. Little did she know that this was perfect for me! It meant I could save some money and it bought me more time to wait on that much coveted British passport I had been promised.

Yes I was scared of moving so far away to effectively no one. I had a one way flight and no back-up money. If it didn’t work out, I was screwed. But thankfully I did have a job to start and a house to live in. That was more than enough, because the ferocity of my desire to travel and my faith in my conviction outweighed all fear.

Obviously I got the passport, and moving to London is the best thing I’ve ever done. It will always be high on the list of my big life decisions, because it was purposed and the timing was absolutely perfect. God knew what was coming and he took me out of my home-town and my only known reality, so that I could flourish as a young woman.

These words do not justify what I went through before coming here, and this ‘knowing’ business may have been an experience unique to me, though I have a feeling it isn’t. I suspect you know this fire I speak of, either because you’ve been there or you’re there now.

I trusted God and I trusted myself. If there’s a fire in your belly to take a big step, probably with large repercussions (in either direction), I encourage you to trust in what your heart’s telling you. Only you can make these big changes in your life and only you really know what’s right. Don’t be told by anyone.

God is in you, He has given you free choice and He has given you those very real human instincts. Pray to him, submit to Him, trust Him with all your plans.

Then…. Listen to the fire.

Have you ever felt something really strongly and followed your instincts? Share your story in the comments!

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That Gut Feeling

When something is meant to be, you can’t go against it.

You know the feeling, where your heart burns because it’s the truest thing you’ve ever known? Maybe it’s also the riskiest thing you’ve ever thought, and it has the potential to go terribly wrong. That’s even better. And you can’t help but go and do it, because you just know. It’s the greatest and worst feeling in the world!

But you must listen to your instincts, even if you don’t want to. Because really, deep down, you do want to. You want to know why you feel this strongly and if there’s anything in it. Well, as the old cliché goes, you won’t know until you try. But usually those really strong feelings are right. They don’t come around often but it’s a pretty big deal when they do. From my experience, anyway…

It was end of 2007 and I had just finished high school in my hometown of Auckland, New Zealand. My heart was set on moving to London after I had been talking with a family about becoming their nanny in the new year. But (there’s always a but), I had no money, no visa or passport and I was meant to be starting work in the UK in a mere 4 weeks time. Plus, moving across the world seemed a little drastic, right? In circumstance, everything was going against me. But God had spoken and I listened, because I knew in my Spirit it was the right thing. In my eyes I had no other choice.

Everyone doubted and questioned that I had heard right, including my supportive mum who had always trusted me in the past. But He had said I would get the British passport that I was barely liable for, and I knew that I would. I just knew. Partly because God is faithful to His promises, and because there was a fire in my gut that couldn’t be extinguished. I simply had to go.

Then my future employer apologetically asked me if we could move my starting date back a few months, as things had changed for them in London. Little did she know that this was perfect for me! It meant I could save some money and it bought me more time to wait on that much coveted British passport I had been promised.

Yes I was scared of moving so far away to effectively no one. I had a one way flight and no back-up money. If it didn’t work out, I was screwed. But thankfully I did have a job to start and a house to live in. That was more than enough, because the ferocity of my desire to travel and my faith in my conviction outweighed all fear.

Obviously I got the passport, and moving to London is the best thing I’ve ever done. It will always be high on the list of my big life decisions, because it was purposed and the timing was absolutely perfect. God knew what was coming and he took me out of my home-town and my only known reality, so that I could flourish as a young woman.

These words do not justify what I went through before coming here, and this ‘knowing’ business may have been an experience unique to me, though I have a feeling it isn’t. I suspect you know this fire I speak of, either because you’ve been there or you’re there now.

I trusted God and I trusted myself. If there’s a fire in your belly to take a big step, probably with large repercussions (in either direction), I encourage you to trust in what your heart’s telling you. Only you can make these big changes in your life and only you really know what’s right. Don’t be told by anyone.

God is in you, He has given you free choice and He has given you those very real human instincts. Pray to him, submit to Him, trust Him with all your plans.

Then…. Listen to the fire.

Have you ever felt something really strongly and followed your instincts? Share your story in the comments!

I’m a Sunday Christian

My best friend called me out tonight. I love it when she does that because that’s what good friends do. This time it was hard to take because she hit me right where it hurt. She was right and I couldn’t deny it.

Let me give you a bit of back story.

I have my good and bad days. I have my good and bad moments. I went to church on Sunday evening and I was having a really good moment. I even tweeted about it, probably a little too righteously. There I was, worshipping Jesus and declaring how much I trusted Him, and really, truly, meaning it. Now that doesn’t happen everyday. We declare these song lyrics in church in faith, even when on the inside we are freaking out about how we’re going to pay the rent. Any honest Christian will tell you that.

But this particular Sunday, I meant it and knew it was true. I’ve had to trust God over the past few months just to get out of bed. And I can hand-on-heart say that He is faithful and He has never left my side. It brought tears to my eyes on Sunday to know that I trusted Him and that this would overjoy Him. I want to overjoy my Lord.

Then what happened? Well, I went home and screwed up all that trusting! I literally forgot what I had just been through at church, all because I saw something I shouldn’t have, and I immediately lost.the.plot. Within moments I was a snotty-nosed, un-trusting and pathetic mess. Poor old me, eh?

That right there, is the perfect example of ‘Sunday Christian’ behaviour. And it was still Sunday! I don’t want to know what kind of Christian that makes me. (Disclaimer: Not the sarcasm, people.)

Long story short, I cried, called my bestie and then fell asleep feeling rather ‘woe is me’. Bring on Monday (today) and cue previously mentioned bestie with ‘What was that tweet about? Did you really mean that or was that for show?’ OUCH. ‘Yes, I really did mean it… and then I came home… and… and.’

I didn’t have a good explanation except that I forgot.

I momentarily forgot the promises and faithfulness of God, and instead I welcomed fear, confusion, and sadness. I was the hostess (with the mostess) for my own spectacular pity party. I would have invited you but you’re probably not depressing enough.

It’s natural to forget and God definitely ain’t upstairs cussing me out for forgetting His goodness. He is right where He’s always been; with me. In that moment when I was hurting, He was holding me. Today he walked beside me because I was strong enough to walk by myself. But He never leaves me and whenever I fall, He is there to lift me back up again.

He wants us to trust Him because it’s the best thing for us, and it allows Him to do so much more in our lives. When we don’t, He doesn’t throw a tantrum and say ‘well, I told you so kiddo’. He is too big and mysterious for us to put into a box and to always understand, but that doesn’t mean what He is doing isn’t good. He teaches us and it’s important that we learn.

I’ve learned from last night, so I journalled it and hopefully next time I’m tempted to throw all my toys out of the pram, I’ll be reminded.

He is good. Please do better than me at remembering on days Monday to Saturday that He is good.

Do you know what I’m talking about? Let me know about your trusting journey in the comments.

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